MY FIRST KISS!!

MY FIRST KISSJ

*Ambulance siren*

                I don’t remember anything. All I remember is taking my grandson for a walk. But now I'm in an ambulance. My son is with me right now. I'm feeling too unconscious. I can feel someone whispering in my ears. “You will be alright.” 

*Deep silence* 

3 HOURS LATER.....!!

        “You don’t need to worry about anything it’s just a mild cardiac arrest, all he need is some rest. Don’t feel” Doctor said to My Son VICKY.  My son and my grandson came near me “Grandpa you didn't buy me a chocolate. you cheated me.” As always my 6yr old grandson comes with a complaint. Even I'm not in the situation to convince him. “Dad you’ll be alright soon. Doc said you can shift from the hospital within a week. No need to worry” my son tried to convince me. I don’t want to hear anything all I need was to see my sweetheart. yes, my wife. I know if she comes to know about my situation right now she’ll definitely get upset. But Don’t know whether I’ll be going back to my home and spend my rest of my days with her. before that, I need to see her once. I couldn't even speak. “Where is she?” I whispered to my son. He replied “DAD, mum is on the way with Priya. she’ll be here within an hour.” Hearing that I felt relaxed. Then I slept.

  I was in a deep sleep. But I heard a sound someone crying near me holding my hand. I knew it’s her. My swthrt. I opened my eyes. I saw her.  She was looking damn cute. Her sober eyes, Wrinkled face, big specs with grey hairs. As always she looked beautiful. I smiled seeing her. She shouted “If you go away leaving me here alone. I’ll kill you Ram” I laughed harder but I couldn't laugh anymore I coughed. Then she rubbed my chest and said “Don’t laugh you, idiot. I'm serious I won’t live without you. I need to spend rest of my life with you” As if we were new couples she was saying all these. I nodded my head and said “hmm. I won’t leave you alone.” she smiled and she put down her head to my chest and she rested down. I smiled coz it brought back all my memories of her. I said “I love you swthrt.” she broke down and sobbed like a child. She said “I love you too” and kissed me. Still, I can feel her soft lips. I can even die thousand times to get a kiss from her.

45 YEARS BACK....

  “swthrt, I want to see you now.” I cried like a child in my phone to her, she said “no way. You have to wait at least a month it’s our semester holidays. How can I come back from Kerala to Coimbatore now? Just wait for a month ram I’ll be back to my hubby” as always she prattled like a small kid. I said “hmm. With a sad tone.”  “Don’t be sad my hubby. I’ll give you a kiss if you laugh now.” I smiled just to get my swthrt’s kiss she passed her kiss through the phone. 

  I'm Ram doing my B.E final year at B.I.E.T. I hate my college but I came regularly just to see my sweetheart. She is my junior. I fell in love with her at the first sight. When I saw her first, she was wearing a blue colour salwar kameez. She looked angelic. She too loved me but not at the first site I think after 100th sight. I'm not a good looking guy as every girl dreams of. As I'm her senior it was not a big task for me to get her mobile number. Initially, we were just phonic friends but don’t know what made her fall for me. she too fell in love with me.  Now we are a couple. J It may look short. But it took 4 months for me to make her love this average guy: P

It was our semester holidays. She went to her hometown Cochin. During my college hours even though I'm not having any class I used to go to my college often to see her. But now she is in Kerala and I'm in Coimbatore. I still have to wait for a month to see her. Don’t know how am I going to live without seeing her. I missed her so much.

I was lying on my couch. Suddenly I got a call from her. I felt too happy. I attended her call and went to my terrace. She said “be ready tomorrow. You need to come here” I was shocked and asked “what are you saying?  How can I come there??”  “Everybody at my home is going to my cousin’s engagement at Palakkad. I'm not going.  So you need to come to my home at morning. They’ll be back only after 7 pm. So we can spend so much of time together. Understand. So I order you to come here tomorrow. I don’t want to listen to any of your excuses.” She said everything with a single breath. I really don’t know what to say her. How will I say to my mum and dad about me going to Cochin? But I didn't think about anything I just said yes I’ll b there.  The only reason is I want to see her. That’s it. Then she hung up the phone and went.  I came to my home. I thought about saying this to my mum but she won’t allow me to go to Kerala so I lied her saying am going out ooty for my friend’s engagement I’ll back by evening. I went to bed with so much of happiness. Am going to see her after so many days. I couldn't close my eyes. I just spent my time seeing her pics. I waited for my clock to tick 5. A few hours later...

“Mum I'm leaving. I’ll be bake at evg. Bye, mum. Take care.” “Hmm go safe dear. Call me once you reach there” My mother said. “Hmm, sure mum bye” saying dis I took my bike out and went to the bus stand. That is my first visit to Kerala. I haven’t gone there before. I even got the bus I’ll b there at 10 at the morning. She texted me when I entered the bus. We were chatting the whole time. All those guys in my bus were wearing lungis and they were shouting at Malayalam. I didn't understand anything they spoke I was just chatted with her on phone. I reached Kerala as she said I took a cab and went to her street. I saw her. She was waiting for me there. But she didn't saw me. Once I got the cab I hid near a car. She wore a lavender colour salwar kameez with a white border. She looked really cute. Her untied long hair kept blowing in the air and kissed her cheeks. Her fair skin glowed under the mornings light. The violet and white combination of her dress she wore made her look more Beautiful and elegant. I was watching my swthrt silently from a distance. Still, she didn't find me. She called me again and again. I took the phone and said “I’ll be there within an hour” even then she waited there. Then I went near her slowly and shouted behind her back, she screamed and turned back. After seeing me she started to shout. Her cheeks turned red. With her glowing skin tone, I can easily see it. I asked sorry but she was still angry. She walked away without saying anything. Then I shouted her name loudly. I took a rose from my bag and said “I love you swthrt. pls forgive me.” She turned to me and hugged me tightly .Everyone around there was seeing us. But she didn't mind anyone.  Then she took me to her home.

It was an apartment. As she said I was walking some few metres behind her. Coz her neighbours may see us. Then she kept her door open then I went inside. When I entered She hugged me saying “you idiot. Why the hell are you making me love you, again and again, huh?” I replied “I want to say this. you are killing me Daisy. I couldn't live without you and I mean it.”  She started to cry and said, “I won’t leave you ever.”  Then she went to the kitchen and brought me the Maggi which she cooked for me. That was her first cooking. I had. She has the same taste as of my mum does. I'm really lucky to have her. She also took me to her room and shown me all her childhood photos and jewels, she had. I was just watching her silently.  The only thing that ran through my mind is I should not leave her. I should make her happy always. She sat near to me. I wrapped my hand around her from behind placed my hands on her stomach and rested my chin on her right shoulder. I said “Daisy. Without you, I don’t want to live in this world. I should marry you. I should have my children with you. I should play with our grandchildren. When we grew old we should take them for a walk. I should be with you till my last breath. I love you dais.” listening to this She lifted her face and turned back to me. I stroked her hair. I felt compelled to move my face forward. Our faces were only a breath apart. I couldn't speak. I leaned over to kiss her. My lips met hers. We kissed. We kissed again and again. Then I kissed her lips, her cheeks, her neck and her lips again. I slid my hand under her salwar.  “Ram...” she said.  I shut her up with another kiss. She said, “love you, Ram .” Biting my lips. “You are the most amazing girl in the world” I said kissing her neck. I bit her and kissed her all the time. I wanted to draw her close and keep her with me forever. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. I could give up anything for her. I kissed her hair and we made love for the first time.

NOW...

“swthrt. Still, I couldn't forget your first kiss” I mumbled.  “Love you Ram” she replied and kissed me on my forehead.

I’ll Never let yu go:)

                   I’ll  Never let yu goJ

                   It all happened a month before. Now I'm all alone. I used to hold her hand all the time but now I'm holding a pitcher. It has been two weeks since I left my apartment. I don’t wish to go anywhere. I even don’t want to see anyone. Everything is coz of my ego. I shouldn't have shown it to her. She was the only one I have but now even I don’t have her. I avoided all my friends. Later they too started minding their work. No one cared for me. I hurt the one who cared for me. I deserve this.  With the pitcher at one hand and the mobile at other I went to my room. As always before I sleep I used to see my Facebook profile, to see our pictures which we posted on the Valentine’s Day. I started reading all those comments where my friends posted. “Wow, yu 2 luk grt”  “Osum couples”  “Smile lyk dis always guys”. All my friends know about us. I even saw many messages. Everybody texted me after knowing about my break up. I read all those messages. Everybody tried to say the same thing that I should forget her and move on which I couldn't even think of. Suddenly a new notification popped up. ‘You have 1 new friend request.’ I was not in the mood to see it. So I logged out and continued to have my beer again. Days went with the same. A few weeks later when I opened my Facebook page again to see our pic. This new friend request disturbed me. I clicked to see who it is. It was from an unknown girl Shriya. A cute Barbie doll pic. I accepted her friend request. I received a message from her as soon as I accepted the request.  It was “HiJ” with a smiley. It reminded my Madhu. After seeing the text I replied her “hello” then she started the conversation. Said everything about her. She is from Mysore and she is doing her engineering. She is single and so on. Then she asked about me. I hesitated to answer her questions first but still something made me text her. We chatted for a while even in our first conversation. Later unknowingly I slept having my mobile in my hand. I woke up after a long gap. I felt like I've slept for decades. After I got up from my bed I searched my mobile it was under my blanket. When I opened it. I was shocked coz I had received more than 50 messages. It was all from her. I felt too sad coz I went without saying anything to her. I waited for her to come on-line and I replied “Sorry.”

Two months later.......

   “Hey sweetheart... Today you have an important presentation to do.. All the best do well I’ll pray for you...” As always she texted me first at the morning. These 2months we became too close. I’m her best buddy now. She knew everything about me, even about my break up. I replied her “Thanks a lot shriya... I’ll definitely do wellJ” With a smiley. Then I went to my office. As it was one of the important meeting all my higher officers had came from my company’s U.S branch. I started my presentation.  Presented about my team’s sales record which we provided to our U.S clients. They all were so happy as my project lead to a 5.6million$ profit for my company. Everybody appreciated me. I returned to my apartment with so much of happiness after completing all those presentation work. All I did was took my laptop out and texted her in Facebook. “shriya I did my p.p.t well and everybody appreciated me.. It’s all coz of you.. Thanks a lot...”

I texted her and waited for her reply. She replied me after an hour. “Don’t say thanks sweetheart... I wish to be with you all the time. Not only now but forever. Love you a lot...” After seeing this reply I was shocked. Coz I can’t think of anyone in Madhu’s place. Even she knows that but why she proposed me now? I really don’t know what to say. I don’t want to hurt her. I just felt numb. Later I replied her.

     “I'm sorry shriya... I can’t love anyone... I loved her and I’ll luv her...  the only girl I can think of holding my hand is Madhu...  The only girl I can think of spending my life is Madhu. Even she is not with me. I know someday she will come back to me. I'm sorry”

Sending this message I logged out my Facebook and went. So many thoughts were running in my mind. All these two months which I spent with her. She supported me during my bad phase of my life. I felt sad for her. Having these thoughts I went to Facebook to say sorry to her. I received a message from her. After reading it I was shocked and it made me to cry. Her reply was... “I came back to you Ram. Even I can’t think of holding someone’s hand other than you...  the only guy I can think of spending my life is you...!! I can’t live without you Ram... It’s me madhu!!”

My final words :(

My final words :(

 “Hi, sweetheart how are you?:)” As always, even now I started the conversation with the same sentence. But this time this will be my last message to her..!!

I couldn't even think of this situation which I'm facing right now. As of all couples we loved each other a lot. To be frank even more than others. We cared for each other. We supported each other. But all ended within a moment. Even now I can think of all those beautiful moments which I spent with her. My angel. She is definitely one in a million. We even talked about having our own house and having two children in future that too a gal and a boy as she wished for. But I never thought this all will be ending as an imagination. I thought to hold her hand even when I was about to die. But now my love is about to die. Hmm yes... She broke up with me a week ago. I couldn't forget her. Everything is reminding me of her. All those letters she gave the chocolate rappers even her text messages. From the day I proposed till now her picture is my wallpaper on my mobile phone. I’ll start my day only by seeing her. It’ll definitely make me lucky the whole day. But I never thought I’ll be so unlucky to be with her forever..!! 

I started typing my final words just by wiping out my tears.

“Hi, sweetheart...  how are you? Hope you are doing fine. :)”

 [Even when I forget to use a smiley in my text she’ll shout at me as of my mother do when I skip a meal. ]  

“Sorry for disturbing you... I just want to say I love you and I don’t want to leave you no matter what happens.. all those beautiful moments starting from posing a family pic by having a small girl doll with you to the one hour time which we spent at the K.G hospital reception waiting for your scan results even then we were making fun of all those guys out there. Still, I'm living with all these memories sweetheart. As I always say I won’t leave you alone. Even when your doctor said you are having only a few more weeks to spend; as your Intracranial neoplasm  is killing you slowly I just thought the same I’ll never leave you alone  no matter what happens. You left me because of your Tumour. You left because; you don’t want to make me feel unhappy all the time. You left me because; you don’t want to see me crying all the time right? I won’t cry anymore. I won’t feel anymore... I’ll just wait up there for you. I can’t think anyone other than you. Take care sweetheart.”

  I was thinking to click the send button before I close my eyes. I won’t be having enough time. Even when I wish to have, this poison won’t give me any more seconds. I sent the message.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       “MESSAGE DELIVERED TO Swthrt ”

  Even I got the delivered message. When I clicked the back key all I saw was the beautiful smiling pic of her wearing the lavender colour Saree which I gifted her during our 1st anniversary. How could I be alone without seeing this beautiful smile? How could I live without holding her hand? How could I be happy without her? I start my day by seeing her pic but now I'm ending my life by seeing this beautiful angel. Love you Davs!!! which was My Final Words.

Enn(Aval) :)

                                Enn(Aval)  J

 11.30 p.m.  (April -3- 2014)

    Valakam pola inaikum night full ah ava kuda pesite irundhen... time ponadhe therila. “Innum sapdama irukiye unaku arivu ilaya nu” Ava kekum bodhu enaku niyabagam vandhadhu onnu dhan.........!!!

 Rendu maasathuku munadi varaikum iva enoda Facebook friend dhan. Apo oru naal ava kuda Facebook la chat panum bodhu keta..!! But ipo iva dhan enaku elame. Ena pathi mulusa therinja oru ponnu. En amma ku aduthu nan nesikira oru ponnu!! Enudaya uyir tholi. En life la nan avlo happy ah irundhadhe illa. But iva vandhdhuku aprom ellame mariduchu.  Vaalanum nu aasa vandhuchu. Epavum iva kitaye dhan pesitu irupen.  Avalum apdi dhan. Konjam neram time kidachalum enkuda pesama iruka maata.. Nan matha ponna pathi pesuna udane koba patruva!!  Ena avaloda paiyan madhri pathukita.

      Podhuva pengaluku melody songs na romba pidikum but ivaluku adha ketale pidikadhu. Ponnuga pesama irupanga nu kelvi patruken but iva pesama irundhu nan pathadhe ila. 10 nimisham ava kuda irundhale edhvadhu pesitu kolandha madhri adam pidichutu dhan irupa. Enna porutha varaikum ava enoda kolandha dhan. Avaloda siripa kuda evlo neram venalum pathutu irukalam.  Oru dhadava ava amma va miss panrenu solli aludha andha samayam nan ninachadhu avala katti anaichu aarudhal paduthanum nu. Ava mugam vadnadha pakra alavuku enaku sakthi ilama irundhuchu. Ava endha poovum veka maata. Ponnuga podhu va panra make up um panna maata. But idhu edhum ilamale paaka oru dhevadha madhri irupa. Avala madhri oru ponna yarum pathruka mudiyadhu enoda dhevadhai. Endha ponnukitayum illadha alagu iva kita irukum. Ipdi ovvaru vishayathulayum thaniya irupa.  Idhellam oru karanama irundhucha nu therilla enaku ava mela kadhal varadhuku... Irundhalum adha ava kita nan solla thayangitu irundhen...!!

“Dai enada panra.. nan paatuku ketutu iruken nee ena edhum pesama iruka” nu sonnadhuku aprom dhan nan ninaivuke vandhen.

“Apo nan sirichukite apdi ena d time aachu nan aprm ah saptukurenu” sonen.  Apo dhan ava "Time evlo acha..nalla paaru tym 2.30a.m nu” sonna idha ketadhm enaku thooki vaari potruchu.  Ayo idhuku aprom nan epdi veetuku povenu nenachutu irundhen.  “Seri d nan poren nee poi thoongu. Gud nyt sry Gud mrng” nu solli nan phn ah cut paniu poiten.. avalum asadhila poi thoongitaJ

 Aana nan romba nerama en veetu kadhava thatitu iruken yarum vandhu kadhava thurakave ila.. ellarum nalla thoongitu irundhanga... idhuku aprom edhum panna mudiyadhu.. naama veliya thoonganum nu anga inga nu alanjutu irundhen.. andha time la ennala  kulura thaanga mudila.. Enga poi thoonguradhunu kooda therila. Bus stand la thaniya ukkandutu irundhen.. Andha nerathula kooda idha pathiyellam  marandhu sirichutu irundhen yen na avaloda messages ellam pathutu irundhen. Andha soolnilyilum kooda enaku kashtam therila..!! apo nan nenachadhu ellam onnu dhan iva dhan enaku ellame endha situation vandhalum ivala nan ala vechra kudadhu.. Ivala nalla padiya pathukanum nu. Apo ena nenachenu therila.. “Ena kalyanam panikiriya?"nu avaluku message anupiten. Apdiye bus stand la nanum paduthu thoongiten dhideernu 4maniku enaku call vandhuchu.. Yarunu patha enoda dhevadha... Nan attend panitu sollu d innum thoongalaya nu keten.. adhuku ava sonna badhil “seri da kalyanam panikalam” nu..!! Andha second ah en lyf la maraka ve mudiyadhu!!

Today 10.40 p.m. (April-3-2025)

   Ipdi dhan un amma enkita 1^st tym sonna adhuku aprom dhan.. Nanum avalum kadhalichu neriya problm ku aprom un thaatha paati ellam samalichu kalyanam panikitom nu enoda 8 vayasu ponnu kita sollitu irundhen.. Apo dhan room la irundhu  “Enenga tym evlo aachu inum sapdama irukinga ungaluku arivu illaynu" en dhevadha sonna.. idha ketadhum nanum en ponnum sirichukite... “Time evlodhan aachu aprom saptukalm nu sonnom”.

A kind request to all my brothers!!

                A kind requests to all my brothers!!

      

LOVE- The feeling where everyone would have experienced it at their teenage. As you are a guy you may forget everything and you will move on looking out your future. But a Girl’s first love is so pure than a mother’s love. They won’t forget it ever.

      Making a girl fall for you is the simplest thing you can do. You don’t want to be a brad pit or Tom cruise to impress her. All you need to be yourself. You can impress her in all sort of ways.  When you say her favorite movie as yours, she will get impressed.  When you care for her she will get impressed. Rather than spending more penny on a diamond for her just spend your time with her she will get impressed. But all she wants is your attention. All she wants to know is you will care for her and support her no matter what happens to her. By doing all these you can even make her propose. But seriously brother that won’t make you a real man. Impressing a girl is not a big challenge. Love a girl truly. Care for her always. Support her in all bad phase of her life. This makes you a real man. A girl loves a guy only when she believes you as of she believes her DAD. She is not like you. She won’t be seeing other guys. She won’t be flirting with other guys. She won’t be texting other guys. She won’t feel bad to say her love to others. She won’t lie to you. You do all these....!!

             All she will do is nothing but loving you truly. She will do everything to impress you. She will take all the decisions only after listening to your suggestion. But you won’t say her anything; you will feel so bored to share things with her. Even then she won’t argue with you. She will start to do things which you like more. All she wants is to make you happy. But what you do is nothing but hurting her always.

Brother , She believes in you. She will make you happy.  Hurting a girl who believes in you is like hurting your Mother. Love her. Protect her. But please don’t hurt her. A kind requests to all my brothers.